American writer Peggy Vaughan estimates in her book The Monogamy Myth that nearly 60 per cent of men and 40 per cent of women cheat at some point in their married lives. And it’s not always just about sex. Infidelity is the symptom of a relationship that has been in trouble for some time; affairs do not happen out of the blue and rarely happen because someone is a ‘bad person’. People cheat to address a lack in their relationships — it could be a lack of affection, attention, sex, respect or even an emotional connection. So the next time you hear of someone cheating and think, ‘why would she do that?’ here’s why.
They don’t feel safe
If you’re constantly looking over your shoulder or walking on eggshells, your relationship is headed straight for a collapse, and so are you. For loyalty and fidelity to thrive in a marriage, both partners must experience a steady, consistent flow of affection and trust. “These emotions are precious, and crucial in a marriage,” says Kolkata-based psychiatrist and relationship expert, Dr Siladitya Ray. “They ensure that both partners feel happy and contented.”
If you’re constantly looking over your shoulder or walking on eggshells, your relationship is headed straight for a collapse, and so are you. For loyalty and fidelity to thrive in a marriage, both partners must experience a steady, consistent flow of affection and trust. “These emotions are precious, and crucial in a marriage,” says Kolkata-based psychiatrist and relationship expert, Dr Siladitya Ray. “They ensure that both partners feel happy and contented.”
They’re angry and hiding it
If your fights usually end with him calling you emotional and you calling him cold, then it’s clear that both of you are not being heard. Ditch those knee-jerk phrases you usually throw at him and find a more articulate and less accusatory way to communicate how you are feeling. But there’s no getting out of it, you have to talk. Tell him when something he does hurts you. Find healthy outlets to clear negative emotional clutter for your personal well-being and marital health.
If your fights usually end with him calling you emotional and you calling him cold, then it’s clear that both of you are not being heard. Ditch those knee-jerk phrases you usually throw at him and find a more articulate and less accusatory way to communicate how you are feeling. But there’s no getting out of it, you have to talk. Tell him when something he does hurts you. Find healthy outlets to clear negative emotional clutter for your personal well-being and marital health.
Their signals are being ignored
There are certain common boundaries in every relationship and these must be respected. You may not like that your husband is still close to his ex-girlfriend and might have made it clear in enough ways. Encourage openness, even about who you find attractive. If you’re hiding it, then you know your intentions are not honourable.
There are certain common boundaries in every relationship and these must be respected. You may not like that your husband is still close to his ex-girlfriend and might have made it clear in enough ways. Encourage openness, even about who you find attractive. If you’re hiding it, then you know your intentions are not honourable.
They’re getting no sex
A poor sexual relationship is one of the reasons why a partner may seek a physical relationship outside the marriage. Give your sex life due importance and if it is uninteresting or unsatisfying for you, your partner or both, find ways to remedy the situation. Experiment, look for solutions or talk to a counsellor. But don’t just lie there!
A poor sexual relationship is one of the reasons why a partner may seek a physical relationship outside the marriage. Give your sex life due importance and if it is uninteresting or unsatisfying for you, your partner or both, find ways to remedy the situation. Experiment, look for solutions or talk to a counsellor. But don’t just lie there!